Sermon Title: What does Jesus say about divorce?
Scripture: Matthew 5:31-32
“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)
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TRANSITION –
Looking at Jesus’ teaching on marriage, divorce, and remarriage is like walking through a field of landmines because, in a room this size, filled with 100 or so people with a good amount of combined years of life experience and experiences as diverse as the total sum, we must look at the text in its context and with humbleness and love.
Why?
First, we never want to make Jesus say something He didn’t intend and not omit anything Jesus meant to say.
Second, people in general and problems in a marital relationship can be very complex. (Upbringings, Baggage, Mental Health, Addictions, Spiritual Differences, Abuse, Marital Expectations, Attitudes)
Third, we do not know everything. (We do not know what someone tried, how long it took, where they were in their walk with the Lord—did they even know Jesus, or what kind of counsel they received.)
Fourth, Jesus’ work covers all our sins, including adultery and unbiblical divorce.
This morning, I want to be careful not to make blanket statements, say what Jesus meant to say, provide biblical counsel for your current situation, and point you to a God whose love for you is pure and relentless despite our lapses of unfaithfulness!
Let’s Pray
BOOK: Matthew 5:31-32
1. You have heard it said…
“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ (Matthew 5:31)
Jesus affirmed the truth of Deuteronomy 24:1–4—that divorcing someone for illegitimate reasons results in adultery.
Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. 2 When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. 3 But if the second husband also turns against her, writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away, or if he dies, 4 the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as a special possession. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4, NLT)
When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house (Deuteronomy 24:1, ESV)
Deuteronomy 24:1–4 addresses divorce and remarriage, a topic closely tied to protecting personal rights and honoring God’s design for relationships. The scenario described involves a man who becomes dissatisfied with his wife—she no longer finds favor in his eyes—because he discovers something “indecent” about her. In that case, he may give her a certificate of divorce, allowing her to remarry. However, if her second marriage also ends in divorce or if her second husband dies, she cannot return to her first husband. Doing so would be considered “detestable” to the Lord because she would now be viewed as “defiled.”
This passage doesn’t command or endorse divorce—it simply sets limits around a practice that was already happening. Jesus referenced this text in the Gospels, especially in Matthew 5 and 19, making it clear that God’s ideal is lifelong marriage. He explained that the “indecent thing” Moses mentioned should be understood as sexual immorality—specifically, marital unfaithfulness. Jesus clarified that God never intended divorce, but allowed it as a concession because of human sinfulness and hard hearts.
The Hebrew phrase “something indecent” (ʿerwat dābār) literally means “the nakedness of a thing” and is likely a polite way of referring to improper sexual behavior, though not necessarily full adultery. In such cases, if the husband confirmed the offense, he could formally end the marriage by writing and delivering a certificate of divorce. This document signified a complete break from the family, often leaving the woman in a vulnerable position socially and economically.
The law then gives a hypothetical scenario where the divorced woman remarries. If that second marriage ends in divorce or death, the original couple is not allowed to remarry each other. She is now considered defiled, and reuniting would be offensive to God. This restriction helped prevent marriage from being treated like a revolving door and protected the sanctity of the covenant.
The law didn’t promote remarriage after divorce—it simply acknowledged it as a reality and set boundaries to reduce abuse. It recognized the damage caused by divorce and tried to prevent it from spiraling into even more sin. Jesus affirmed this approach but raised the bar by pointing back to God’s original intent in Genesis: one man, one woman, for life.
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10, NLT)
Rabbinic Interpretations of Deuteronomy 24:1 On Reasons for Divorce
| School of Hillel | School of Shammai | |
|---|---|---|
| Permitted Grounds | – If she no longer finds favor in his eyes | – Adultery |
| – If she goes out in public with her hair down | – Sexual impurity | |
| – If she spins in the street | ||
| – If she speaks to another man | ||
| – If she burns his food | ||
| – If she is considered a “noisy” woman |
2. But I say…
But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32)
Jesus confronted the Pharisees, who saw themselves as experts in the law but had twisted God’s standards to allow easy, no-fault divorce. By doing so, they were contributing to a widespread culture of adultery among God’s people.
The Pharisees taught that if a husband found anything displeasing in his wife, he could divorce her. For them, the paperwork was all that mattered. Jesus saw through their distorted interpretation and challenged it directly. Earlier in Matthew 5:27–30, Jesus had already told them that lust itself is equal to adultery in the heart. Now, in verses 31–32, He goes further—saying that men who casually divorce their wives without biblical grounds are causing both themselves and their wives to commit adultery when they remarry. The only difference between their behavior and open adultery was a piece of paper.
Jesus made it clear: a man who divorces his wife without just cause makes her commit adultery if she remarries, and he is guilty too. The same is true for the man who marries her and for the woman who marries her former husband. The result is a ripple effect of sin—a chain of adulterous relationships caused by one unjustified divorce.
Marital unfaithfulness is permission for divorce but not a command to divorce; God’s heart is always redemption and reconciliation.
3. So, live in this way
Common Q&A
| Question | Biblical Response |
|---|---|
| I divorced for unbiblical reasons—am I living in continual adultery? | The initial remarriage was adulterous in the act, but once confessed and forgiven, believers are called to keep the covenant with their present spouse (1 Cor 7:20, 24). God’s grace is bigger than our past. |
| Is divorce unforgivable? | No. All sin except the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit (Matt 12:32) is forgivable in Christ (1 Jn 1:9). The issue is repentance and new obedience. |
| Are there other biblical grounds? | Only two: sexual immorality (Matt 5:32; 19:9) and willful abandonment by a spouse (1 Cor 7:15). |
| Are times of separation allowed? | Yes. Hardship, abuse, or addiction may warrant separation for protection, legal consequences, or to serve as a wake-up call. At the same time, the couple pursues restoration (1 Cor 7:10-11). |
| What if I caused the divorce? | Own the sin, seek forgiveness from God and the persons harmed, make restitution where possible, and walk in faithful obedience today. Grace doesn’t erase consequences but empowers new holiness. |
TRANSITION
Jesus’ teaching about divorce and remarriage was countercultural to the lax view concerning God’s design for marriage, just as it is today. Yet, His words are as true today as they were then. So, what will we do with His words in our lives in the present?
ACTION
1. Follower –
Illustration: The Broken Vows and the Bound Hands
Pastor and author Timothy Keller once shared a story about a couple in his church who came to him on the brink of divorce. The husband had been unfaithful, and the wife had every biblical right to walk away. She was deeply hurt but willing to stay if he repented. The husband, however, was unmoved. He wanted a clean break, a fresh start. In his mind, signing a few papers would make it all go away.
Keller told the man, “You may think you’re choosing freedom, but what you’re really doing is binding yourself to guilt, regret, and a legacy of broken promises.” He added, “Jesus says that when we treat divorce casually, we don’t just end a contract—we violate a covenant. We damage something sacred that God Himself joined together.”
That man left—but returned months later, broken. He had remarried quickly, thinking it would be better. But the emotional and spiritual consequences followed him. “I thought I was walking into freedom,” he said, “but I brought all the chains with me.”
Why It Matters
This story powerfully illustrates Jesus’ teaching: divorce without cause doesn’t just break hearts—it multiplies sin. It’s not merely a personal decision. It affects others. It wounds future relationships. And worst of all, it distorts God’s design for covenant faithfulness.
But there’s also hope. That man later repented. God began restoring his life—not by undoing the past, but by building a new foundation of integrity and humility.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:13-14, NLT)
Inspirational Illustration: Francis and Lisa Chan – Fighting for Covenant, Not Comfort
Christian author and pastor Francis Chan, along with his wife Lisa, often speak openly about the struggles and sanctity of marriage. In their book You and Me Forever, they recount seasons when they felt distant, frustrated, and even disillusioned in their relationship. Lisa once shared that there were times she wondered if their marriage would make it.
But instead of entertaining the thought of escape, they chose to return to the foundation: God’s covenant. Lisa wrote, “Our problems were real, but our focus was off. Marriage isn’t about finding the easiest way out—it’s about clinging to Christ and learning to love like Him.”
They didn’t deny their pain. They confronted it. But they also reminded each other that marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ’s love for the Church—a love that doesn’t walk away when things get hard. That shift in focus—off of personal comfort and onto God’s glory—transformed their marriage from surviving to thriving.
Application
When Jesus said that divorce without cause leads to adultery, He wasn’t trying to burden us—He was showing us how serious the covenant of marriage is. The Chans’ story shows that staying in a hard marriage isn’t about putting up with pain forever—it’s about pursuing Christ in the middle of the struggle and letting Him shape both spouses.
“Our goal isn’t just to stay married. Our goal is to stand before God and hear, ‘Well done.’”
— Francis Chan
That’s the kind of long-haul faithfulness Jesus is calling us to. Not out of legalism, but because that’s what reflects the beauty of the gospel—a love that never quits.
ACTION STEPS
- Repent & Receive
- If you’re entangled in any sexual sin, turn to Christ now; His blood covers every failure.
- Confess Past Wrongful Divorce – Ask God’s forgiveness and, if possible, seek reconciliation with those hurt.
- Resolve to Fight for Your Marriage
- Couples in crisis, pursue biblical counseling this week. Don’t wait.
- Re-Covenant (Reaffirm, Assure) –
- Spouses look each other in the eye today and pledge, “By God’s grace, I’m committed to you until death.”
2. Far from God – be reconciled to God
Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” (John 8:10-11, NLT)
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