Our Transformation: Not Wanting Kids to Wanting Kids
Early in our marriage, my wife and I didn’t desire to be parents. I was the church’s youth and children’s pastor, so we had plenty of “children.” It wasn’t until Stephanie became pregnant and had a miscarriage that the Lord really stoked a desire to have children of our own within us. All these years later, we have four healthy children, and we have two in the presence of Jesus until we meet them in heaven one day. You see, our first child didn’t make it, but our youngest daughter had a twin in the womb early on, and our daughter or Stephanie absorbed their embryo. This process, which happens in the womb, resulting in one fewer babies fully developing and being born as first expected, is known as Vanishing Twin Syndrome.
The Loss of a Child and a Longing for Comfort, Hope, and Healing
I’d guess that you or someone you know is or has experienced the tragic loss of an unborn child or baby because you are here as you look for answers and comfort. If you have or are experiencing the pain, anger, numbness, regret, confusion, and questions that arise when losing a young child, I pray that through this post, God meets you where you are and ministers to your deepest needs. The Scripture I’m about to share contains a truth that has and continues to provide comfort and hope concerning the two children I have yet to meet. It is a passage I have used to comfort and encourage others as they grieve the loss of a young or unborn child so that they may grieve as people with hope instead of people with no hope or chance of seeing their sweet child again or for the first time (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
Why is there so much comforting and healing power in the Scripture I will share? It is so potent for these situations because it reveals to us the wonderful and gracious truth that heaven is the final destination for babies who do not make it.
Does the Bible teach that Babies Go To Heaven?
Read 2 Samuel 12:13-25
Nathan calls David out for sin the king thought was thoroughly concealed (2 Samuel 12:1-12). Yet, the prophet naming David’s sin reminds us that nothing is hidden from the LORD (Hebrews 4:13). David’s sin being brought to light by Nathan convicted the King, leading him to repentance (2 Samuel 2:13). The prophet reassures David that Yahweh has forgiven him but because of his sin, the baby delivered by Bathsheeba would die. God’s heart-wrenching verdict reminds us of two things:
- Yes, the LORD forgives our sins, but He does not remove the life consequences of our rebellious actions. Allowing us to experience the painful results of our disobedience is a means of His fatherly discipline (Proverbs 3:11-12; Hebrews 12:5-6)
- Secondly, our sinful decisions affect others. David’s affair ended his newborn son’s and Uriah’s lives and caused untold pain to Bathsheeba. What we do affects others in one way or another.
Once God’s plan for the child was revealed, his son became ill (2 Samuel 12:15). While the child suffered, David fasted and wept. After seven days, the child died. Once David realized his son had passed, he rose from the floor, washed, put on lotion and clothes, went to the Tabernacle to worship, and ate upon returning to the palace (2 Samuel 2:16-20).
David’s actions dumbfounded his advisors, so they asked him about his actions (2 Samuel 12:21). David’s reply to his advisors are the words that comfort and encourage my heart when I think about my two children I didn’t get to meet in this life.
2 Samuel 12:22-23 David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 23 But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”
Once his son took his last breath, David knew his life on earth was finished. Upon hearing about his baby’s death, David got up, reset, worshiped, and resumed living. Why? David was sure there was nothing he could do to bring him back to life, but he was equally sure that once his life was over, he would go be with his son (2 Samuel 12:23; 2 Corinthians 5:8).
Why did David and Bathsheba’s son, and thus babies in general, go to heaven?
While 2 Samuel 2:23 reveals where David’s child was and still is, Romans 3:22 tells us that we are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. How do we reconcile these two verses when David’s son was too young to consciously decide to place his faith in the LORD’s promise of a coming Messiah? Here are three truths to ponder as we wrestle with the Scriptures.
- David’s son went to be with the Lord not because he was sinless (Psalm 51:5) but because God is gracious (Ephesians 2:8-9)! Because of God’s grace, any of us are made right with Him and given eternity with Him, so it is with these young children who pass away. By God’s grace alone, through the person and work of His Son, children like the two I have yet to meet await my arrival on the other side.
- David’s son is in heaven because Jesus left heaven to give Himself as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45; 2 Corinthians 8:9), including the unborn and the born (Jeremiah 1:4-5; Luke 1:39-45).
- This grace was bestowed upon David’s son and is to other preborn or born babies before they knew the difference between right and wrong (Romans 9:11).
Did David go to heaven when he died?
We’ve looked at scriptures to help us know where babies go when they die but also to help us understand why they go to heaven when their premature lives on this earth are through. But did David go to heaven when he drew his last breath?
Some will cite Acts 2:29 as proof that David is not in heaven with his son. However, Scripture makes a distinction between the plans that God has for our body and our soul at death. Our physical bodies return to dust (1 Corinthians 15:42-44), but our soul goes to be with Jesus and those who have gone to be with him before us (2 Corinthians 5:8; 1 Thessalonians 4:14). David’s body has yet to ascend to heaven, just like everyone else who has died being made right with God through faith. Yet there will be a day when the LORD will raise His people’s bodies from their resting place, created anew, and once again joined with their souls (Daniel 12:13; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). David’s soul and the soul of this child who passed in 2 Samuel 12 are together and look expectantly to doing life together for all eternity in glorified (forever) bodies!
David is mentioned for his faith in Hebrews 11:32, and it is by faith that Old Testament saints were made right with God (Romans 4:1-3). The Bible is transparent about the lives of the people it records. David’s life provides a vivid image of Paul’s description of himself in Romans 7. The Apostle continually struggled with his sin nature, even as one who had been made right with God because of His grace through faith. We can also relate to David and Paul; I know I can.
Even after we come into right standing before God, once we receive Christ’s work on our behalf, a lifelong transformation process takes place (2 Corinthians 3:18). We should see more and more victory over sin and see our lives look less and less like the latter part of Romans 7 knowing that we won’t fully be like Jesus until we are with Him (Philippians 1:6).
Assurance of our salvation doesn’t come from perfect obedience to God’s laws but from perfect agreeance with the law of God (Romans 7:12). In other words, I agree that the law of God is good and what it describes as proper and correct and vice versa. Thus, I desire to do what God says, but when I do something that the Bible says is sinful, I agree with the Word of God that I sinned and, as a result, confess it and repent from it. When we live in perfect agreeance with His Word, we, like David, can be described as a person after God’s own heart. Above all, in both Paul and David, we see a gracious God making sinful people right with Himself.
Do you have the promise of seeing your child again?
The truth is your unborn child or child who passed away prematurely is in the arms of Jesus! But I ask you to ponder if you can, with the same confidence as David, say that you will go be with your child when you take your last breath. Perhaps you can say without doubt that heaven being united with your child awaits you. I pray that the promise of a future reunion with your child brings hope and comfort. But maybe you can’t be 100% sure as you reflect on this question.
If you wonder where you will spend eternity, let me say a couple of things. One, you cannot do anything in your effort to become part of God’s family and, therefore, spend eternity in His heavenly home. Secondly, there is no sin that you have or will commit that God’s loving grace cannot forgive because of what Jesus has done for you (1 Timothy 1:15)!
If you want to receive Jesus as your Lord and, as a byproduct, have the joy and comfort of seeing your child again one day, please watch the video below. The video shares how God made it possible to know and enjoy Him now and forever and be reunited with your precious child.
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