Who Has Shaped Your Life?
Most of us can name people who helped shape who we are today.
Maybe it was a parent or grandparent. Maybe it was a teacher,
pastor, Sunday school teacher, coach, coworker, or friend.
We remember how they worked, served, prayed, forgave, handled
difficult seasons, treated people, and followed Jesus. Their
ordinary choices became examples that quietly shaped our own lives.
But 3 John turns the question around.
Who is watching you?
Whether you realize it or not, someone is being influenced by the
way you live. Your children, grandchildren, spouse, coworkers,
neighbors, friends, or other believers are watching.
The question is not whether you are influencing someone.
The question is where your example is leading them.
Two Truths to Remember
Follow examples of faithfulness—and become one worth following.
Truth is not simply something we believe. It is something we walk in.
Three Men. Three Examples.
Third John is one of the shortest books in the Bible—only fifteen verses.
John the Apostle, identifying himself as “the Elder,” writes to a believer
named Gaius.
Rather than giving us a long list of commands, John introduces us to
three men whose lives illustrate what faithful—and unfaithful—influence
looks like.
Gaius
A faithful believer who walked in truth and generously supported
those carrying the gospel.
Diotrephes
A church leader who loved being first and used his influence
to control and discourage others.
Demetrius
A believer whose character and reputation agreed with the truth
he professed.
Two are examples worth following. One is an example to avoid.
Together they remind us that the people we imitate help shape the
people we become—and the people we become will influence others.
1. Walk in the Truth
John begins by expressing his love for Gaius “in the truth.”
In these letters, truth is more than accurate information.
It is the truth God has revealed about Himself through Jesus Christ.
John had heard reports about Gaius, and what brought him joy was not
Gaius’s popularity, position, influence, or accomplishments.
It was his faithfulness.
“I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children
are following the truth.”
3 John 4
Truth had moved from Gaius’s head into his life.
It affected how he treated people. It shaped his priorities.
It influenced what he did with his home and resources.
His beliefs became visible through his actions.
Biblical truth is not merely something to know.
Biblical truth is something to walk in.
You Don’t Need a Platform to Make a Difference
One of the most encouraging things about Gaius is how ordinary he appears.
He was not Paul, Peter, or John. As far as Scripture tells us,
he was not an apostle, biblical author, famous preacher, or traveling missionary.
He was a faithful Christian who used what God had placed in his hands.
Our culture often associates influence with platforms, followers,
visibility, and recognition. Scripture gives us a different picture.
You may never preach a sermon.
You may never lead a ministry.
You may never have a large platform.
Your faithfulness is not insignificant.
God has placed people around you and something in your hands.
You have time. Abilities. Relationships. Resources. A home.
Opportunities to encourage. Opportunities to pray. Opportunities to serve.
Faithful influence is not ultimately about the size of your audience.
It is about faithfulness within the sphere God has entrusted to you.
2. Support the Mission
John becomes even more specific in verses 5–8. Gaius had welcomed
traveling Christian teachers into his home and helped provide what
they needed to continue their ministry.
These teachers returned to John and told the church about Gaius’s
generosity and loving friendship.
Then John says something remarkable: believers who support those
carrying the gospel become their partners—or fellow workers—in the truth.
Some will give. Some will go. Some will pray.
All of us have a part in the mission of God.
Gaius’s ministry was not secondary because he was not the one traveling.
His hospitality, generosity, prayer, and encouragement helped make
the ministry of others possible.
Some Go. Others Hold the Rope.
Church history gives us a powerful picture of this kind of partnership.
More than two hundred years ago, English Baptists developed a burden
to carry the gospel to people who had little or no access to it.
William Carey eventually left England for India.
But Carey did not go alone.
Andrew Fuller remained in England and helped gather prayer,
financial support, awareness, and additional workers for the mission.
Their partnership has often been remembered through the picture of
Carey descending into the mine while Fuller and others
held the rope.
One went.
Others made it possible for him to go.
Every part mattered.
Do not underestimate what God will do through ordinary faithfulness.
3. Avoid Bad Examples
Then John introduces us to the opposite kind of influence.
Diotrephes had something Gaius apparently did not have: position and authority.
But instead of using his influence to serve others and advance the gospel,
he used it for himself.
John says Diotrephes loved to be first. He rejected John’s authority,
spread accusations, refused to welcome gospel workers, discouraged
others from helping them, and even removed people from the church
who did.
Gaius
Little apparent position, but faithful influence.
Diotrephes
Leadership position, but destructive influence.
Position does not make someone worth following.
A title does not guarantee faithful leadership.
Visibility does not equal spiritual maturity.
We therefore need discernment about the people we imitate and the
voices we allow to shape us.
Demetrius: Become an Example Worth Following
John gives us only one verse about Demetrius, but what a verse it is.
“Everyone speaks highly of Demetrius, as does the truth itself.”
3 John 12
His reputation agreed with his profession.
People could look at Demetrius’s life and see evidence that the truth
he claimed to believe was actually shaping the way he lived.
That leads directly to John’s central instruction:
“Don’t let this bad example influence you.
Follow only what is good.”
3 John 11
We are not merely called to recognize faithful people.
We are called to imitate what is good and become faithful people ourselves.
Every Faithful Example Ultimately Points to Jesus
Gaius and Demetrius give us examples worth following—but neither man
is the ultimate example.
Every faithful Christian example is worth following only to the degree
that it reflects Jesus.
Jesus Walked in Truth
His entire life perfectly reflected the character and will of the Father.
Jesus Served
He did not use His position for Himself but came to serve and give His life for others.
Jesus Gave
At the cross, He gave Himself completely so rebellious sinners could be reconciled to God.
Jesus Leads
Christian influence is never about becoming first. Jesus already occupies first place.
Follow Jesus First
We Become Examples Worth Following by Following Christ
The goal of the Christian life is not simply to try harder to become
like Gaius or Demetrius.
We follow Jesus—the One who perfectly walked in truth, humbly served others,
and gave His life on the cross for sinners. He died in our place,
rose from the grave, and offers forgiveness and new life to everyone
who turns to Him in faith.
The best examples do not ultimately draw attention to themselves.
They help others see and follow Jesus.
Life Application
Practice Ordinary Faithfulness This Week
Third John does not call us to chase influence.
It calls us to faithfulness with whatever God has already placed
in our hands.
Affirm
Identify someone in whom you see God working and encourage
them specifically. Tell them what you see.
Serve
Ask God how you can use your time, abilities, home, relationships,
or resources for the benefit of others and the advance of the gospel.
Reflect
Ask yourself honestly: Where am I leading the people who are watching me?
Take the Message Further
Read • Reflect • Discuss
Take a few minutes to read the entire
book of 3 John (verses 1–15).
As you read, compare
Gaius, Diotrephes, and Demetrius.
Notice what their actions reveal about their character and influence.
For Personal Study
Personal Reflection
Ask God to help you see both the examples you are following
and the example your own life is setting for others.
-
Who has God used to shape my faith, and what specific qualities
from their life do I want to imitate?
-
If someone watched the way I live for the next month,
what would they learn about following Jesus?
-
Is biblical truth simply something I know, or where can others
see that truth shaping the way I actually live?
-
What has God already placed in my hands—time, abilities,
relationships, a home, finances, experience—that I could use
more intentionally for His mission?
-
Are there voices or examples influencing me that look more like
Diotrephes than Gaius or Demetrius?
-
Where am I leading the people God has placed around me—
closer to Jesus or further away from Him?
Around the Table
Couples & Family Discipleship
Read 3 John 3–8 and 11–12
together. Talk about the people God uses to influence us and how
your family can become an example that points others toward Jesus.
-
Who is someone you look up to because they follow Jesus well?
What do you see in their life?
-
What do you think it means to “walk in the truth” instead
of simply knowing what the Bible says?
-
What did Gaius do with what God had given him to help other people
share the gospel?
-
What was wrong with the way Diotrephes used his influence?
What can we learn from his bad example?
-
What would we want someone to learn about Jesus by watching our family?
-
What is one thing our family already has that we could use
to serve someone or help advance the gospel?
With Younger Children
Ask:
“Who is someone you want to be like? What makes them a good example?”
Then explain that people watch us too. We can be good examples
when we tell the truth, show kindness, help others, obey Jesus,
and use what we have to serve.
With Teenagers
Talk about the difference between
popularity and influence.
Ask them which people influence the way they think, dress, speak,
make decisions, or understand God. Then ask:
“Is that influence leading you closer to Jesus?”
This Week
As a family, choose
one act of ordinary faithfulness.
Encourage someone who serves faithfully, invite someone into your home,
help someone in need, support a missionary, serve together,
or pray for someone carrying the gospel.
Family Prayer
Father, thank You for the faithful people You have used to help us
know and follow Jesus. Help our family walk in Your truth and use
everything You have given us for Your glory and the good of others.
Give us wisdom to follow good examples and courage to avoid bad ones.
Most of all, help our lives point people beyond us to Jesus.
Make us faithful in the ordinary moments You give us each day. Amen.
Ordinary Faithfulness
Someone Is Watching
You may never know this side of eternity how God used your prayers,
generosity, encouragement, service, hospitality, or quiet obedience
to shape another person’s life.
Do not underestimate what God will do through ordinary faithfulness.
Walk in the truth. Support the mission. Follow what is good.
And by God’s grace, become an example that helps someone else follow Jesus.
Bible Shorts • 3 John
Watch or Listen to the Full Message
Walk through the entire book of 3 John and discover what Gaius,
Diotrephes, and Demetrius teach us about walking in truth,
supporting the mission, choosing our examples carefully,
and becoming people worth following.
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