How to Use This Commentary
Third John is a deeply personal letter, but it also addresses timeless issues every church eventually faces. After celebrating the faithful example of Gaius (3 John 1–8), John turns to a very different example. A man named Diotrephes desired influence more than faithfulness, authority more than service, and recognition more than submission to Christ.
Read the letter in three movements: (1) walking in the truth through faithful gospel partnership (1–8), (2) the danger of pride and self-centered leadership (9–10), and (3) following godly examples who reflect Christ (11–15).
Every church must choose what kind of leadership it will cultivate. Will it encourage humble servants who point people to Jesus, or will it tolerate pride that seeks power and recognition? John’s warning about Diotrephes reminds us that spiritual maturity is measured by humility, not influence.
Key: Third John 9–10 warns that pride always damages gospel partnership, while humble, Christlike leadership strengthens God’s people and advances His mission.
A Quick Look: 3 John 9–10
Big Idea: Pride damages the church when leaders seek first place, reject accountability, and use influence to control others rather than serve them.
Why this matters: Not every threat to a church comes through false doctrine. Sometimes the greatest damage comes through pride, personal ambition, slander, and the misuse of authority. Diotrephes appears to have held influence within a local church, yet he used that influence to protect his own position, reject faithful messengers, silence those who disagreed with him, and hinder the spread of the gospel. His example warns every believer—especially every leader—to examine whether influence is being used to serve Christ or to secure personal control.
Read: 3 John 9–10
What You’ll Discover
- Who Diotrephes was and why John opposed his behavior.
- What it means that Diotrephes “loved to be first.”
- How pride can lead a leader to reject correction and accountability.
- Why slander, control, and exclusion are serious dangers within the church.
- How Christlike leadership differs from leadership built around power and recognition.
Main Takeaway: Diotrephes did not merely struggle with a difficult personality. His desire for first place produced a pattern of destructive behavior that harmed believers and hindered gospel ministry. Healthy Christian leadership looks entirely different: it submits to Christ, receives correction, speaks truthfully, welcomes faithful servants, and uses influence for the good of others.
A Simple Explanation (3 John 9–10)
9 — Loving First Place Instead of Following Christ.
John explains that he had previously written to the church, but a man named Diotrephes refused to recognize his authority. Rather than receiving John’s instruction, Diotrephes wanted to be “first.” His desire for prominence caused him to reject the apostle and place himself at the center of the church’s leadership.
Meaning: The greatest problem with Diotrephes was not his leadership position but his heart. Instead of seeing leadership as an opportunity to serve others, he viewed it as a way to gain influence, recognition, and control. Pride had taken the place that belonged to Christ alone.
Application: Every believer—not just pastors or ministry leaders—should regularly examine their motives. Ask yourself, “Am I serving so Christ will be seen, or am I serving so I will be noticed?” Healthy ministry points people toward Jesus rather than ourselves.
10a — Pride Produces Slander and Division.
John promises that if he visits the church, he will publicly address what Diotrephes has been doing. Diotrephes wasn’t merely disagreeing with John; he was spreading false and malicious accusations against him. Rather than protecting the unity of the church, he used his words to attack a faithful servant of Christ.
Meaning: Pride often reveals itself through the way we speak about others. Instead of building people up, proud hearts tear others down. Slander becomes a tool for protecting personal influence and damaging anyone viewed as a threat.
Application: Before repeating criticism about another believer or church leader, ask whether your words are true, necessary, loving, and helpful. Christians are called to speak the truth in love, not use words as weapons.
10b — Pride Hinders the Work of God.
Diotrephes wasn’t satisfied with rejecting John’s messengers himself. He refused to welcome faithful gospel workers, discouraged others from showing them hospitality, and even removed people from the church who did. His desire to remain in control became more important than advancing the gospel.
Meaning: Pride never remains personal. Left unchecked, it eventually harms other believers and obstructs God’s work. Leadership becomes dangerous whenever protecting our position becomes more important than serving Christ’s mission.
Application: Healthy churches celebrate faithful ministry wherever it is found. Rather than competing for influence, believers should encourage one another and gladly partner together in making Christ known.
Bridge: In only two verses, John exposes how destructive unchecked pride can become. What began as a desire to be first led Diotrephes to reject godly authority, spread harmful accusations, oppose faithful servants, and divide God’s people. The passage reminds us that true spiritual leadership is never about protecting our own position—it is about humbly serving Christ and helping others follow Him.
A Deeper Dive: The Danger of Pride and the Beauty of Servant Leadership
1) The Root Problem: Loving First Place
John identifies the heart of the problem before describing the behavior. Diotrephes “loves to be first.” Everything else in these two verses grows out of that one phrase. His greatest desire was not to honor Christ or serve God’s people—it was to secure the highest place for himself.
Scripture consistently warns against this kind of ambition. From the Tower of Babel to the Pharisees, pride has always tempted people to seek recognition, power, and control apart from God. Instead of seeing leadership as stewardship, pride turns leadership into self-promotion.
The issue was not that Diotrephes served as a leader. The issue was that he loved being the leader more than he loved serving God’s people. Christ alone deserves first place in His church.
Application: Leadership becomes dangerous whenever our identity depends more on our position than on our relationship with Christ. Ask yourself, “Would I still joyfully serve if no one noticed or thanked me?”
2) Pride Rejects Accountability
John says Diotrephes refused to receive him. This wasn’t simply a personal disagreement. John was an apostle of Jesus Christ, entrusted with shepherding the churches and preserving the truth of the gospel. By rejecting John’s instruction, Diotrephes was ultimately resisting Christ’s appointed authority.
Pride often reveals itself by resisting correction. Humble people recognize they still have much to learn. Proud people assume they already know enough. They become defensive when challenged and unwilling to receive biblical counsel.
Healthy churches cultivate leaders who remain teachable. They welcome accountability because they understand that spiritual authority is never independent—it always operates under the authority of Christ and His Word.
Application: One of the clearest signs of spiritual maturity is teachability. Invite trusted believers to speak honestly into your life, and receive biblical correction with humility rather than defensiveness.
3) Pride Uses Words to Tear Others Down
John next exposes Diotrephes’ speech. Rather than addressing disagreements honestly, he spread malicious accusations against John. His words became weapons used to protect his own influence and damage someone else’s reputation.
Throughout Scripture, our words reveal the condition of our hearts. Pride often speaks through gossip, slander, exaggeration, and suspicion. Instead of celebrating what God is doing through others, it quietly seeks to diminish them.
This reminds us that not every confident voice is a trustworthy one. A person may appear persuasive while using speech that divides rather than builds up the body of Christ.
Application: Before repeating criticism, ask yourself whether your words will strengthen someone’s faith or simply spread suspicion. God calls His people to speak truthfully, graciously, and with the goal of restoring others rather than damaging them.
4) Pride Always Hurts More Than One Person
Diotrephes’ pride did not stop with his own actions. He refused to welcome faithful gospel workers, discouraged others from doing so, and even removed people from the church who acted differently than he desired.
Sin is rarely isolated. Left unchecked, pride spreads through relationships, influencing families, ministries, and entire churches. A self-centered leader can create an atmosphere where fear replaces joy, control replaces trust, and personal loyalty becomes more important than faithfulness to Christ.
John’s concern extends beyond one difficult individual. He is protecting the health of the church and the progress of the gospel.
Application: Be alert to attitudes that discourage cooperation, isolate believers, or make ministry revolve around one personality. Healthy churches keep Christ—not any individual—at the center.
5) Jesus Redefines Greatness
Diotrephes wanted first place. Jesus taught something entirely different.
When the disciples argued about who would be the greatest, Jesus pointed them toward humility and service. He taught that greatness in God’s kingdom is measured not by titles or recognition but by sacrificial love. The Son of God Himself did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.
This creates a striking contrast. Diotrephes grasped for prominence. Jesus laid aside His rights to serve others. One sought his own glory; the other gave Himself for the glory of the Father and the good of His people.
Every Christian leader must choose which example to follow.
Application: The question is not whether God has given you influence. The question is how you use it. Christlike leadership asks, “How can I help others flourish?” rather than, “How can I strengthen my own position?”
Deep Dive Summary
- Pride begins when we desire first place instead of Christ receiving first place.
- Humble leaders remain teachable and welcome biblical accountability.
- Our words reveal whether our hearts seek to build up or tear down.
- Unchecked pride eventually harms individuals, churches, and gospel ministry.
- Jesus defines greatness through humble, sacrificial service rather than personal prominence.
Christ Connection
At first glance, 3 John 9–10 appears to be a warning about one difficult church leader. But beneath John’s warning lies a much greater contrast—the difference between the kingdom of self and the kingdom of Christ.
Diotrephes loved to be first. His desire for prominence shaped the way he treated God’s people. He rejected apostolic authority, attacked faithful believers with his words, refused to welcome those serving Christ, and used his influence to control others. His leadership revolved around protecting his own position rather than advancing Christ’s mission.
Jesus demonstrated the exact opposite.
Although He is the eternal Son of God and rightful King over all creation, Jesus never sought glory for Himself apart from the Father’s will. He humbled Himself by taking on human flesh, faithfully obeyed the Father, and willingly gave His life on the cross for sinners. The One who deserved the highest place chose the lowest place so that we might be forgiven and reconciled to God.
During His earthly ministry, Jesus repeatedly challenged the world’s understanding of greatness. When His disciples argued over who was the greatest, He taught them that God’s kingdom operates differently. True greatness is not measured by position, popularity, or power but by humble, sacrificial service. Those who would lead must first become servants.
The contrast could not be clearer. Diotrephes grasped for first place. Jesus willingly laid aside His rights to serve others. Diotrephes used people to strengthen his position. Jesus gave Himself to save people from their sin. One built a kingdom around himself; the other established God’s kingdom through humility, obedience, and love.
Because of Christ’s transforming grace, believers no longer need to fight for recognition or protect their own importance. Our identity is secure in Him. We are free to celebrate others, receive correction with humility, welcome faithful servants, and use whatever influence God has entrusted to us for the good of His church rather than our own reputation.
Every act of humble service points people toward Jesus. Whether leading a church, teaching a class, serving behind the scenes, or simply encouraging another believer, Christians reflect their Savior when they choose faithfulness over prominence and service over self-promotion.
The question this passage leaves us with is not, “Am I a leader like Diotrephes?” The better question is, “Am I becoming more like Jesus?” As we submit ourselves to Christ, the Holy Spirit transforms our hearts so that our desire is no longer to be first, but to faithfully serve the One who is first over all.
Bottom Line (3 John 9–10)
Pride has no place in Christ’s church. When believers seek first place instead of giving Christ first place, relationships suffer, truth is resisted, and gospel ministry is hindered. But when we follow the humble example of Jesus, we use our influence to serve others, strengthen the church, and make His name known.
Reflection & Discussion Questions
Use these questions for personal Bible study, family devotions, discipleship relationships, or small-group discussion. Ask God not only to help you understand this passage, but also to shape your heart to reflect the humility of Christ.
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John says Diotrephes “loves to be first” (v. 9).
What does this reveal about the root problem behind his actions? Why is pride often more dangerous than the outward behaviors it produces? -
Diotrephes rejected apostolic authority and refused correction.
How do you typically respond when someone lovingly corrects you from God’s Word? What does your response reveal about your heart? -
John describes how pride affected Diotrephes’ words and actions (v. 10).
Have you ever seen pride create division in a family, workplace, ministry, or church? What lessons can be learned from those situations? -
Jesus taught that true greatness is found in serving others.
In what areas of your life are you tempted to seek recognition, control, or personal success instead of faithfully serving Christ and His people? -
Healthy leaders point people toward Jesus rather than themselves.
Whether you lead at church, at home, at work, or among friends, what is one practical way you can reflect Christ’s humility and servant-hearted leadership this week?
Take the Next Step: Spend time this week praying through Philippians 2:1–11. Ask God to reveal any areas of pride in your heart and to help you grow in the humility of Christ. Then look for one intentional opportunity to encourage another believer or quietly serve someone without seeking recognition. As Christ becomes greater in your life, your desire for personal prominence will become smaller.
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