I have told my kids several times this weekend that their Mother’s Day present is the gift of their presence, as we have celebrated Nana, Mawmaw, and their mother (my wife). Here are some ideas to help you and me give this wonderful gift to the mothers in our lives year-round, not just a day or two during the year.
- Give Your Undivided Attention
- Put the phone face-down or in another room during conversations.
- Maintain eye contact; nod or ask follow-up questions to show you’re engaged.
- Schedule “Device-Free” Time
- Block out a tech-free hour each evening—or a full morning on weekends—where everyone focuses on one another instead of screens.
- Plan Regular One-on-One Moments
- For your wife: a standing coffee date before work or a Thursday-night walk.
- For your mom: a weekly video call or lunch every second Saturday, marked on both calendars.
- Learn—and Use—Her Love Language
- Words of affirmation: Send a mid-day text that highlights something you appreciate.
- Acts of service: Tackle a chore she dreads without being asked.
- Quality time: Run errands together and turn the drive into catch-up time.
- Gifts: Bring home her favorite snack “just because.”
- Physical touch: Offer a hug when she looks stressed.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions
- Replace “How was your day?” with “What moment today made you smile?”
- For moms, try “What’s a favorite childhood memory you haven’t shared yet?”
- Create Shared Rituals
- Morning devotional and prayer together.
- Sunday evening planning session for the week ahead.
- A monthly “memory night” watching old family videos or flipping through photos.
- Show Up for the Small Stuff
- Attend doctor appointments, recitals, or parent-teacher meetings—not just the big events.
- Sit at the kitchen counter while she cooks, simply to keep her company.
- Practice Active Listening
- Summarize what she said: “So you’re feeling overlooked at work because…”
- Ask, “Would you like advice, or do you just need me to listen?”
- Pray with Her, Not Just for Her
- Take 60 seconds before bed to thank God aloud for something specific about her day.
- Text a prayer if distance separates you or just because: “Lord, give Mom peace at her appointment right now.” Texting or audio recording prayers and sending them may be the best way to overcome the awkwardness of praying with your wife.
- Protect Her Rest
- For wives: manage bedtime routines with the kids so she can wind down.
- For aging moms: coordinate siblings to share caregiving tasks, giving her breaks from responsibilities she still shoulders.
- Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
- Notice the incremental wins—finished laundry piles, conquered fears, health goals met—and cheer her on.
- Seek Her Wisdom
- Ask for her opinion on a decision you’re facing. It communicates value and cultivates mutual respect.
- Surprise Mini-Sabbaths
- Hand her a “coupon” for an afternoon off while you handle meals and logistics.
- Book a quiet reading nook at a local café and deliver her there with a new book.
- Keep Learning Her Story
- Record a short interview about her childhood or dreams.
- Turn those stories into a simple photo-book gift later.
- Use “WE” Language
- Say “Let’s tackle this together” rather than “You need to…”—it underscores partnership.
This is just a short list of ideas to help us give the gift of attention to the mothers in our lives, whether the mothers of our children, our mothers, or mother-like figures. Let me know if you try any of the above and how they go or if you have anything that you do to help you be present with others!
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